To Live with Myself

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By Lotti Macard ISBN: 9781847470843 Published: 2007 Pages: 97 Key Themes: borderline personality disorder, mental health services, Description This book tells of true stories and thoughts as well as experiences of Lotti, a sufferer of borderline personality disorder and a regular detainee under the Mental Health Act. Borderline Personality disorder is an often misunderstood and unfamilar conditional. Lotti set fire to her friend's house when she was unwell and was sent to prison and then a secure unit. She is still in hopsital but alot better now and her friend has forgiven her. Borderline Personality Disorder in its simplest form tends to show itself from slight to more severe sensitivity in a person, and in its more extreme and disabling form in attention seeking behaviour, low self-esteem, acts of self-harm and even suicide attempts. It is considered the hardest of mental states to control as medication is not the only way to treat it. Years of learning how to coping strategies and the unlearning of sociably undesirable habits can only transform the sufferer. It takes perseverance from patients, family and friends as well as carers and an unbelievable amount of patience to overcome the obstacles which lead in the first instance to illness. Still arguably the most controversial and only recently recognised mental illness, it is often underestimated through being more of a behavioural problem rather than a medical one. Nonetheless it can be altered with the necessary support and sufferers might lead a fulfilling life. This book charts Lotti's experiences as she battles this BPD long-term illness. It takes a lot of teeth gnashing to get the insight and ability to enable people with this condition to fend for themselves. With this book Lottie wishes to encourage sufferers to stick it out - so its well worth a read! About the Author During a very stressful childhood Lotti picked up strategies which were not compatible with the normal '9 to 5' lifestyle. She became very impulsive and her actions lead a very erratic, unstable life. Absconding from children's homes and living rough at times were the norm in her teens and twenties. Being especially sensitive became her chief enemy, which resulted in continuous self-harm and suicide attempts, as well as destructive behaviour to others. This sensitivity made Lotti vulnerable to criticism (either real or perceived), unable to accept praise, and gave her low self-esteem and erratic mood swings. All these needed overcoming and at the lowest point of her life only outsiders like doctors and carers could see there could be a way back for her. Through a long therapy programme and containment in a secure environment (where absconding was impossible) Lotti has begun to find other ways of dealing with every day life.