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The Ghost: Memoir of a Florida Kingpin

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It's been over 20 years and I've had to live in a cell with gray walls, with one barred window, with two bunk beds, with a thin mattress without bedsprings, lying atop a plate of steel, and with no pillows, only a blanket rolled into a ball to lay my head - a head filled with worry and despair. I live with a toilet and sink in the corner next to a steel door which keeps me safely inside my cell, safe from the public and safe from life. There was a time I yearned and craved to live life each and every day, to be recognized as the alpha dog, the big baller, the shot caller. Yes, now I live within four walls of cement and steel in a cell the size of a bathroom in most median sized homes. I stand, kneel, pray, sleep, eat, play and exercise in this small cell. I live my life safely from the public, and from the type of life I now regret having lived.I walk back and forth in my cell, stopping to look into that stainless-steel mirror over my sink and I see my blurred reflection. There is no glass allowed in the mirror. It's all part of being safe, safe from hurting oneself or hurting others. Part of the reason I'm in prison is because the public needed to be safe from the life I wanted to live. I wanted to be more than just somebody.
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