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Spencer's Boston Theatre (Classic Reprint)

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Excerpt from Spencer's Boston Theatre An Apartment in Mr. Doddlewobble's house. - Table (c.) set for breakfast for two. - Side-doors (R. and L. 2 E., D.C. and R. and L.C.) in flat. - Mr. Doddlewobble discovered at table (L.C.), reading paper. Dodd. It's of no use. I can't make head or tail of it. They can't be all right. It's against reason. It's a diabolical and premeditated outrage on common sense. Oh! it's a terrible thing to be forced to believe that there are beings in human form perambulating this mundane sphere, with an ink-bottle in one hand and a steel pen in the other, doing these things in cold blood. What have I ever done to war-correspondents, that war-correspondents should take this fiendish delight in deceiving me? (Reads.) "The enemy fled before our advancing troops, without firing a gun." That's well enough. I've not the slightest objection to any number of enemies flying any number of times before any quantity of guns are fired, not a bit of it. If that's their peculiar way of enjoying themselves, let them enjoy themselves in their peculiar way, in Heaven's name. No! it's not that: it's this. (Reads.) "Our troops fled before the advancing enemy, without firing a gun." D - n it! it can't be both, you know. It's perfectly distracting. (Reads.) "Jeff. Davis is dead." "Jeff. Davis alive and well." "Jeff. Davis positively dead." "Jeff. Davis seen alive." O Lord! O Lord! I shall go crazy. (Reads.) "General Banks is advancing." "Gen. Banks is retreating." "Gen. Banks moves forward." "Gen. Banks has moved backward." "Gen. Banks will not advance." "Gen. Banks has advanced." "Gen. Banks was killed in a skirmish last Monday." About the Publisher Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.com This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully, any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.
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