Crashing: I Love You. Forgive Me

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In this powerful, unforgettable memoir, Mark L. O'Brien examines the profound consequences of the moment that forever changed his life and cut short the life of the woman he loved while delivering a searing indictment of America's criminal justice and addiction treatment systems. Mark L. O'Brien has lived through a tragedy and made something beautiful of it. He has gathered the pieces of his shattered life, and from them built this unforgettable book. Not only will this story of transformation move you, it will challenge your most basic assumptions about guilt, grief, mercy, and justice. Not to be missed. -- Darin Strauss, National Book Critics Circle Award recipient and multi-award winning author of Half a Life. The morning after a birthday party she threw for him, O'Brien woke up in the hospital to learn that his girlfriend was dead, and he might be going to prison for causing the car crash that killed her. With piercing insight and stark prose, Mark L. O'Brien leads us on a deeply personal, intimate, and emotional journey-grappling with loss, regret, and his fragmented memories of the night of the crash, questioning a new relationship fraught with immense shame and colored by his continued attachment to his lost love, and wondering whether the forgiveness of his girlfriend's family and questions about his guilt would keep him out of prison. Along the way, he delivers an unflinching exploration of grief, mercy, and the fractured path from loss to meaning. The result is a staggering and inspiring tour de force. While the heart of Crashing is O'Brien's examination of his pain and shame in the aftermath of the crash and his path to redemption, readers will be shocked by the dysfunction and incompetence of the criminal justice and addiction treatment systems O'Brien confronts, systems he has since dedicated himself to reforming. "I knew I'd made a horrible mistake, but I was stunned to see the disgrace we've allowed these systems to become, " O'Brien says. "From racism and dehumanizing cruelty to nearly comical ineptitude, none of us are better off living in a society with a criminal justice system that makes it impossible for people to choose a better path and an addiction treatment system that too often leaves people more traumatized than when they entered it." *All proceeds from sales of Crashing will benefit nonprofit programs that address traumatizing criminal justice and addiction treatment system harms.* As seen in The Washington Post and on Jada Pinkett Smith's Emmy award-winning Red Table Talk, Mark L. O'Brien's story will inspire readers with its powerful message of hope and its heart-wrenching illustration of the human capacity to discover seeds of meaning in even the most painful experiences. Advance Praise for Crashing Mark L. O'Brien's powerful memoir, Crashing, takes readers on a heartbreaking journey through his pain and anguish as he comes to terms with his role in his girlfriend's death. It's a powerful reminder of the human spirit's capacity to choose redemption, and also an excellent primer on how substance use and addiction needs to be treated--with scientific evidence and compassion. -- Leana Wen, MD, CNN Medical Analyst and author, Lifelines. When [Mark] first shared his story with me, I was aghast. I was obviously shocked by the details of the moment that changed Mark's life forever, but I was equally shocked by Mark's transparency and authenticity, which is on full display in this book. Crashing is not only a book about tragedy and heartbreak, but it's also about love, forgiveness, and hope. Mark's courageous memoir is a true illustration of growth after trauma. -- Devon Still, MBA, MAPP former NFL player, founder of the Still Strong Foundation, and author, Still in th